Monday, September 21, 2015

2015-2016 NHL Season Previews in Haiku: The First Ten Teams

Anaheim Ducks
Depth, grit, skills and stuff.
They think they can get the Cup.
Can your coach do it?
Arizona Coyotes
Yes, great young prospects,
But still there is the feeling
The lottery sucks.
Boston Bruins
Wild-man as GM
Chops the line-up for cap cash.
Golf season, too soon.
Buffalo Sabres
Who are these people?
Actual NHL players?
The fans are confused.
Calgary Flames
Don't think about stats.
Good last year means good this year.
Right guys? Hello? Guys?
Carolina Hurricanes
Eric Staal is old.
Jordan can't carry a team.
Poor, poor Eddie Lack.
Chicago Blackhawks
Guys, guys, look, listen:
Playing an alleged rapist
Is not a good thing.
Colorado Avalanche
Paper-thin roster
And a narcissist coach?
Long nights ahead, boys.
Columbus Blue Jackets
Not good and not bad
Welcome to the new middle
The worst place to be.
Dallas Stars
Party man and friends
Would make a hell of a show.
But the goalies? Um.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Patrick Kane Haikus (T/W: Rape)

Leaves on the grass now.
Fall means skating, training camp.
Are you skating, Kane?
The NHL sits.
We'll let the process play out,
Pray it goes away.
Chicago Blackhawks
With so much to cheer about
Rapist on right wing.
One word: Settlement.
He can pay, it goes away.
So, not a rapist?
Rape needs a rapist.
Kane can pay for her silence.
He did what he did.
We will never know
But we all must remember
Who Patrick Kane is.